Reading tip: Svend Brinkmann

My Storytelling

As you ask, you get an answer

It was time for the annual performance appraisal at the newly established authority "Inspection for Transparency". Stig, the top manager, 60 years old and a lawyer, had prepared carefully. He had just taken a course in "The good conversation" and learned to ask open questions with the right technique. He wanted to be an example. Across from him sat Karin, a middle manager, 25 years old and a social worker. Two important people at the new authority. After a few minutes of "small talk", the performance appraisal began.

Stig: How do you see your relationships with our new management team, Karin?
Karin: Relationships are difficult.
Stig nodded. It sounded professional.
Stig: Can you elaborate on that?
Karin: Our entire life, from early morning to late evening, consists of relationships. Privately and at work. There aren't many seconds when you're completely alone with yourself and have time to stop.
Stig waited...
Karin: So it's actually difficult to answer that particular question.
Stig: Hmm... He had received an answer. But not to the question. Stig continued with a new question:
Stig: Do you think our particular relationship is working well – that is, between you and me?
Karin looked at him. As you ask, you get an answer, she thought, and answered:
Karin: There's only one answer to a question like that: Our relationship is okay, right?
Stig: Hmm... He made a note. "The relationship is working well." That felt safest.
Stig: And the goals here at work? Do you feel you've been able to live up to those at our new agency?
Karin: What goals?
Stig quickly looked at his paper. There were actually some goals there. But he suddenly had trouble remembering which ones.
Stig: Yeah... He moved on.
Stig: Do you think the demands we place on you here at the agency are reasonable and acceptable?
Karin: If the demands are too high, you get stressed. If they are too low, you also get stressed.
Stig put down his pen. This was starting to get scientifically complicated. Best to continue.
Stig: What do you think, Karin, about the conflicts that have been discovered in some of your subordinate teams, out on the line?
Karin got a strange feeling that this felt like an interrogation, and answered a little subtly:
Karin: People love revenge. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, that's how I see it.
Stig fell silent. He had intended to write "certain challenges in the teams". Now he no longer knew what to write. Finally, the last question came:
Stig: Do you think you have the right salary in relation to your skills and work effort?
Karin thought for a moment.
Karin: It could be higher.
Stig: Yeah...
There was silence.
Stig looked at Karin.
Karin looked at Stig.
The performance review was over.
Stig had asked all his questions.
Karin had answered them without actually answering a single one.

Sometimes organizational culture makes it difficult to ask a sensible question, and to get a sensible answer. This is how the "organization of silence" spreads. It can be difficult to approach your boss in the right way — even if they have taken a course in good conversation.
/ cj